I constantly heard of the rocks. They always spoke of its long distance from the school compound and the dusty road that led to it, so I expected nothing spectacular as I walked towards my destination. It sure was a long distance and the road dusty but all of that occupied the back of my mind when I saw the rocks they solemnly spoke of.
I moved closer to them as the strong cooling breeze blew past me. The warm rock on which I lied massaged my stressed body. I smiled, closed my eyes as the gentle clouds above me calmed my fears, the beautiful shades of the suns’ rays consumed my heavy thoughts. I was surrounded by great serenity. One by one the spectacular stars appeared and shone over me. All was so overwhelming that I saw nothing but the moon, the stars, the fading coloured clouds and the images I had formed from them; I heard nothing but the cool breeze, nothing but His Beauty, His wonder, His love.
There I was, away from the craziness I experience every day, the faces that cause my heart to ache, the smiles I have to fake, far from reality and its forceful demands.
At the rocks I can run away from life’s actualities, I can just lie there and let nature devour my worries and effortlessly bring out my joy. I can be free, let go; love, cry, complain and my vulnerability will cost me nothing but bliss.
The rhythm and rhyme in parts of this piece evoke a sense of poetry, such as in in the second last paragraph. The ambience of the rocks and the effect on you comes through. But be careful about phrasing e.g. "The warm rock on which I lied massaged my stressed body." "lied" should be "lay."
ReplyDeleteAlso, more context needed. E.g. where exactly is this place? Who are the 'they' who always speak of it?
Mwalimu
sorry, forgot to give you my vote: 4/5
ReplyDeleteMwalimu
Thank you for the comment and the vote.
ReplyDeleteI will work on the phrasing.
Sarah